http://musicyouneed.net/2013/01/14/artist-of-the-week-angry-muffin/

Honesty is the world’s greatest orgasm prohibitor.

Angry muffin was baked in 1982, in the city of Halifax, Nova Scotia. The son of a pastry chef and a guitar playing prostitute, he developed an inclination toward music and the opposite sex at a very early age. It seems his desire to hear new music - accompanied with pictures of sexy, naked women - was completely insatiable. His mother, whos nose was always covered in her husbands finest baking flour, exposed him to the raging sounds of classic rock, hair metal, early thrash, synth pop, and uh, regular pop.
In the early 90s he moved to the nation’s friendliest and most outgoing city: Toronto. This is where the young Angry Muffin was seduced by the cities burgeoning rave scene. The outrageously gorgeous little girls and their glowsticks made him very happy and excited, and he just needed to be a part of it all. Unfortunately, he had troubles integrating into the social scene due to various prejudices, so decided to take up music production to earn their respect. He was immediately praised for his talent by all of his peers, and some DJs even played his music in front of thousands of dangerously dehydrated children!
Soon thereafter the young Angry Muffin fell in love with a young, tiny breasted raver girl named ‘Chelsea’. At first it seemed like a match made in muffin heaven, but Chelsea eventually left him for a regular human man with a penis. Devestated, Angry Muffin decided never to make music again…and never to trust another woman with his heart for as long as he lived.
In the years following the heartbreak, Angry Muffin spent most of his time drinking large quantities of alcohol and getting kicked out of the bars of Toronto. Unable to defend himself due to his small stature, the young muffin was sodomized on numerous occasions. To cope with the humiliation and physical pain, Angry Muffin became addicted to heroin, crack cocaine, regular cocaine, morphine, opium, horse tranquilizer, LSD, methamphetamine, GHB, Oxycontin, PCP, nutmeg, and allspice. These were very dark times for Angry Muffin.
However, in 2012 - and much to the fanatical joy of the electronic music world - Angry Muffin decided to lift himself up from the depths of his despair and once again make music. In this music, Angry Muffin draws from his deepest feelings, which include isolation induced depression, euphoria, confusion, anger, paranoia, despair, emptiness and desperate longing. Sometimes Angry Muffin is happy so he makes a happy song.
Angry Muffin’s long awaited first work is self titled, and available now at all the world’s most popular online music shops.

for the first time ever i realized that polish and polish are spelled the same. they both have similar alcohol percentage.

My entire life I strove to be a non-conformist. I knew people would admire me for my incorrigibility, but I didn’t know they would constantly chastise me despite that admiration. How do these zombified hypocrites look in the mirror without making a swift decision to strangle themselves?

I am innocent, I swear.